Family Camp '08

I took my kids this week to family camp with my parents church, First OPC. This was our third year to go with my parents. We had loads of fun and it is fairly relaxing for me as everyone takes turns cooking and cleaning and I was only on the list for one cleanup time and no cooking. As much as I love to cook, it was good to have a break from it for a couple of days.



One person at family camp had heard about Carlita's death. He came and told me how sorry he was to hear about her death. I was not expecting how important it is to me for people to acknowledge the death of my friend and my grief. It is as if every time someone speaks to me about Carlita, another memory of her is ingrained on my heart, which, in turn, brings my heart a tiny bit more healing.



On Friday, an older couple from my parents church showed up for the day with their son and another woman from the church whose husband recently passed away. This widow is in her late seventies or so and her husband was an elder at First OPC for decades. I remember him from way back when I was a kid and respected him and liked him and his wife. So on Friday, I went and spoke to her about her husband, told her I was sorry for her loss and that I appreciated and respected him as an elder in the church. Well, the other older woman was standing there listening to our conversation and as the widow spoke of her grief and missing her husband, the other woman said that he is now in a better place. She had a few platitudes like that that she threw out there and it really felt as if we were not allowed to speak of the dead and miss them. That we are just to be happy for that person that he gets to be with God. I did not realize how that can come across until then. I spoke to them about Carlita and the widow and I shared our grief together for a few minutes. We both shared stories and talked about how important it feels to speak of the ones we have lost, the importance of stories of their lives. I am thankful that Carlita is in Heaven and not in hell. I am thankful that she is with Jesus. I am thankful for her faith and testimony and her life lived in the grace and love of God. Those things are a comfort. But, I still miss her. I still wish that I could call her on the phone and be encouraged by her, joke with her, pray with her.



The pastor who was the speaker at the camp is someone I have always liked and respected for his work in the church. He spoke on church planting. Well, today I spoke to him about Carlita (I just can't help myself from bringing her up. Sometimes it seems as if I am on a mission to find comfort.) Tears just started rolling down my face as I spoke about her. He told me that tears are a gift from God and that it is good to cry when we are hurting. He listened to me and encouraged me for a while and then he prayed for me. He also prayed for Aaron and Micah and Maddie and said that he would remember us in his prayers. I was very encouraged by all of this.



Other things did happen at family camp that had nothing at all to do with Carlita.



We saw several deer including a fawn young enough to still have lots of spots. We saw them a lot and very close too. My mom and I took the kids out in a canoe on the lake and we saw about 8 baby killdeer chicks. They were very cute, running around pecking at the mud. Nathan went part way down the water slide. 3 times. He was very scared and nervous, but he did it. Don and Carolyn Poundstone were there and I was able to have a conversation with them. I wish that I had been able to talk with them more, but I felt like I was busy wandering around with my kids most of the time. It was a good time and I am glad that I was able to go again this year. But it is good to be home with Brian again.

Hannah's 3rd Birthday

Thursday was a fun day. It was Hannah's birthday. I had a difficult time figuring out what to do for her birthday this year, but it turned out fine. She had a fun day. In the morning, some of her friends came over for the pink cupcakes that she has been asking me to make for the last month or more. It was hot, so the kids all played outside and ran through the sprinkler and did a lot of swinging on the swing set that Brian found for her for FREE on Craigslist. Gotta love Craigslist. Brian and I put the swingset together after the kids went to bed on Wednesday night so that it would be a surprise for her birthday. We were up until about midnight working on it. Whoever had it before, cemented it into the ground and so it still had these huge chunks of cement on each pole and we had to dig these holes to bury the cement. There was a gargantuan cherry tree root that Brian had to extract for one of the holes, it seemed fairly ridiculous, but incredibly satifying to have it up and then to see the kids the next day having such a good time on it. Wow! Sometimes being a parent is fun. Hard work, but fun.

Here is a picture of her on Wednesday night when we had Doug and Ruth and Grandma Alice over for dinner.

Marathon Celebration October 8, 2007

Carlita's memorial service was on Saturday. It was a very
encouraging time. Brian read a couple of poems and made a lot of
people laugh by making a funny comment about pies. I am very
proud of him, it can't be easy to get up in front of 200-300
people. Carlita's daughter Maddie played the Moonlight Sonata
and did a great job.
They handed out a small booklet/bulletin type thing with a
couple of pictures of Carlita, some poems, a woodcut that Maddie
did, some songs. It was very well done and a lovely remembrance
of Car.
I spoke to a few people whom I haven't spoken with in a while,
but I didn't really have much to say. Mainly I hugged people and
cried.
The past few days have been a little better. I feel like the
fact of her death is not as big of a shock to me most of the
time now; like that part has eased. The realization has set in.
Now I am actually trying to plan Hannah's third birthday party.
Trying to keep going with other things in my life. Trying to
take bits and pieces of Carlita with me as I move forward in my
life.Like grace. Love. Beauty. And of course Pie.